“Fairness is a concept that holds only in limited situations. Yet we want the concept to extend to everything, in and out of phase. From snails to hardware stores to married life. Maybe no one finds it, or even misses it, but fairness is like love. What is given has nothing to do with what we seek.”
maudlin (adjective)
- (obsolete) Tearful, lachrymose.
- Affectionate or sentimental in an effusive, tearful, or foolish manner, especially because of drunkenness.
- Extravagantly or excessively sentimental; mawkish, self-pitying. On the rebound one passes into tears and pathos. Maudlin tears. I almost prefer the moments of agony. These are at least clean and honest. But the bath of self-pity, the wallow, the loathsome sticky-sweet pleasure of indulging it — that disgusts me.
Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But it’s very important that you do it. I tend to agree with the first part.
I have realized how pointless our actions are. I have realized that actions, no matter how great they are, can be forgotten over a period of time. You could be a very helpful, kind and nice boyfriend but the moment you are replaced by someone, someone is not even half as close to being the person you are, your actions will eventually become only a matter of the past. People would only shrug their shoulders when they hear that you have been replaced, that is all you get.
You could be remembered, but that is all you get. Not much average person will go to the extent to fully appreciate what you have done.
It does not matter how much effort you have put in because your actions will usually end up being forgotten, faded as time goes by. All of these actions, all of these effort, it means nothing.
When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on—series polygamy—until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.
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| — | Tom Robbins (via creatingaquietmind) |
We all want to be loved…to be happy. So why aren’t we? Because we’ve become experts at sabotaging our own happiness. Feeling like victims, when in fact it’s the choices we make, the bad habits, the vices, the inability to show love and compassion. These are the things that tear us down. We’re not victims. We’re assassins when it comes to love and happiness.
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| — | One Tree Hill (via creatingaquietmind) |
Because try as I might, I couldn’t get away from the feeling that relationships go stale anyway. Forget USPs, mine or Amy’s or anyone else’s, the fact is, if you get two people who like each other a lot, and fancy each other a lot, and you put them together, make them live together, allow them a couple of years to exhaust their back catalogue of revelations… hey presto, you’ll have a relationship that is going stale. There’s nothing wrong with the two person themselves; it’s just that relationships tend to lose their passion after a while. That’s what happened to Amy and me, to me and previous girlfriends, to lots of people I’ve known… that’s just what happens.
The C Words - Mark Mason
